The Dowry
by Atrusa Solaris
Summary: Spin-off I've been promising for forever and a day from Pisses Me Off. Fi gets curious one day about how exactly Koko came to be a maid for the Akatsuki. Soon it is revealed that the old woman is much more intelligent than she already comes off as.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer, I do not own Robert Burns or any of his works nor do I own Naruto. However, I do own Koko and Fi.

In taking a break from Pisses me off, I have decided to give you a little spin off to suffice until I can get the next chapter up. It was inspired by a Robert Burns poem called 'My Tocher's The Jewel' and a plot bunny showed up and I decided the idea was worthy enough for the likes of Koko.

Fi gets curious one day about how exactly Koko came to be a maid for the Akatsuki. Soon it is revealed that the old woman is much more intelligent than she already comes off as. Takes place before the portal incident (aka Jefafa and co.)

* * *

Akatsuki Headquarters

Fi stared at the looming pile of clothes needing to be fixed in front of her. Who knew that 9 criminals could cause so much damage to some of the most resistant cloth available? She gingerly picked up one and promptly dropped it when she saw it wasn't exactly clean. She looked for the name on it, trying not to touch it as much as possible. Finally, she found the tag that stated the name of whom she already expected. "Hidan-sama, why must his always be the most challenging?" Fi groaned aloud. She set it aside, leaving it to Koko Baa-Chan, the head maid.

The young maid's hands worked quickly to fix the small rips and tears of Uchiha Itachi's cloak and a ripped seam in Konan's. Tobi's was a bit difficult as he had ripped his while running and tripping, getting caught up in his own coat. He had been especially tearful and apologetic about it.

The hours passed before Koko entered the room with her walking stick for when the arthritis kicked up. "Are you done yet Fi-chan? I have more for you to do once you are finished with that. The east wing needs cleaning from Deidara-Sama and Sasori-Sama sparred spur of the moment." The elderly woman sniffed. "Shinobi, can't believe I married one in the first place." She huffed as she shuffled out. Fi looked around in confusion. Koko Baa-chan? Married to a shinobi?

"Koko-Baa-chan! Wait!" Fi stumbled as she got up and hurried after the old woman.

"What? I also have work to do." Koko snapped.

"Who were you married to?" FI asked, curiosity getting the best of her.

"That is none of your business, now get back to work." Koko continued on her way, thinking that was the last of it. But what Koko did not consider was the young woman's infamous persistence. Fi bugged Koko for the rest of the day and for the two days following that. Finally, Koko had had enough.

"Fi-chan, if you do not stop harassing me, I swear I'll offer you to Hidan along with his coat." Koko threatened.

"Then tell me and I will let you be, Koko baa-chan." Fi insisted while bowing. Koko's face twisted in frustration. If she told her, the maid would prove that Koko could be worn down eventually. But on the other hand, if she did not, then Fi would persist and she would lose a vital member of staff to Hidan's religious rituals.

"If you can fix Hidan's coat as close to perfectly as possible by the end of the week, I will tell you. If you cannot, you shut up about it for good." Koko instructed. Koko was certain that the coat could not be fixed within a few days. The damages were very close to the point of beyond repair. She smirked with satisfaction and hobbled off.

The next few days, Fi worked endlessly on the coat, pausing only to sleep, eat and complete her normal chores. The other servants watched in amusement and awe. They were also curious about their over-seer's past, and in order to do so, they had taken over many other jobs without Fi's consent.

Finally, the end of the week had arrived and so had Hidan's patience to its breaking point with waiting for his coat. Koko entered the sewing room and demanded to see it. Fi proudly held up the cloak. Koko snatched it and set to examining it for any flaws. She only found one error in the stitching. Other than that, it was nearly perfect. Koko scowled. She had not counted on this.

"So?" Fi pressed.

"Fine, fine. Take this to Hidan-sama before he throws another hissy-fit." Koko grumbled. Fi hurried took the coat and rushed out to Hidan's quarters. Koko sighed and sat in the chair. Fi rushed back in, face full of eagerness.

"It all started back when I was a young woman in Takigakure…" Koko started.

---

Takigakure, year ?

The young woman sat in front her parents, staring at them blankly. The room was silent other than the wind chimes outside. "W-what did you just say?" Koko stuttered in shock.

"I said, you are to be married. There are a considerable number of suitors already lined up." Her father said once more. It only makes sense, Koko thought to herself, because we are wealthy. Her father, Hashimaru, was an advisor to the leader of the village and was paid a considerable amount for his opinions.

"Do I have any say in this?" Koko asked, bitterness adding an edge to her voice.

"Do not take that disrespectful tone with me!" Her father roared. "You should be grateful that so many wish to be a husband to a beautiful young woman such as yourself!"

"They are only interested in the money! What is my dowry? Inheritance to our wealth?" Koko yelled back, tears starting to form.

"Silence! I will take no more disrespect from you. Get out of my sight!" Her father ordered angrily. Koko got up and rushed from the room, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Koko locked herself in her room for days, refusing food and company to any who wished to provide her with either. Then, one night, she sat up in bed with a plan. A plan to turn away any suitors that may wish to marry her. She quickly rose and got dressed before hurrying to her parents room.

She knocked on the door. "Come in." Her father's voice called.

"Father, I am sorry for my disrespect." Koko kneeled before her parents. "but if I am to take part in this, let me choose my dowry."

Her father listened to her suggestion. "I am grateful that you have apologized and accepted the situation my daughter, but as for this request…"

"Please father, it shall weed out any who wish to gain only your wealth." Koko pleaded.

"Fine. Dismissed."

--

The next day, Koko's father had gathered all the young men who expressed interest in marriage to his daughter. Koko accompanied him, recognizing many shinobi from the village in the room. Most were Chuunin or Jounin, there were a few Genin hanging in the back. "Men," Hashimaru addressed them. "You came here to find out the dowry for my daughter, and I will now tell you. If you do not find this acceptable, the door is there." He said solemnly.

The men muttered amongst themselves. They did not expect this.

"The dowry is a single, priceless jewel. There is no other like it in the world and will only be given to one person. But beware, it is fragile and will be destroyed at the first touch." He warned. A few men got up and left. What was a jewel worth if you could not touch it? A few other men understood and also got up and left. Half the men remained. "We will meet with you individually over the next months." He got up and left, followed by his daughter.

"Koko-sama, this is a cruel trick to play upon these men." Her maid hissed to her as she helped Koko out of her Kimono. "They are not intelligent enough to know exactly what you mean."

"That is the point." Koko smirked.

* * *

"Is that it?" Fi complained. Koko smirked.

"Exactly. Clean the hallway perfectly and I will tell you more of the story. Not a pebble out of place. Patch where Sasori has thrown Deidara smoothly. You have to the end of tomorrow."

Fi grumbled as she set about the task. Koko smirked, knowing it was nearly impossible to fix the hallway perfectly after Deidara and Sasori got into arguments. Many had just given up and cleaned up the rubble.

"Fi, what did she say?" Another maid sidled up and asked in a whisper. Fi relayed what she had been told. "Is that all?"

"Hai. She refuses to tell me anymore until this hallway is patched perfectly." Pretty soon, at least four other maids were cleaning up the hallway too. Fi had to tell each of them the story and make them swear never to tell anyone else. It was partially done by dinner. Fi worked alone through the night and finished very early in the morning. She fell asleep in the hallway and got stepped on by Tobi on his way to the bathroom.

Koko came out to inspect. She was amazed at what she saw. True to her word, she had Fi follow her back into the sewing room for the next part of the story.

* * *

Over the next few months, the list had been narrowed down to three men, all shinobi. Koko prided herself on the amount of time it took to chase each suitor off. Her record was five minutes so far. But what the young woman did not expect was a newcomer to the game she played with the situation.

"Let him in." Her Father ordered as the man was announced. Koko's sharp eyes watched from behind her hand fan as the suitor walked in. He wore a black cloak with a cowl and mask about his face. His headband showed he was also a shinobi. His oddly colored eyes suggested bloodline.

"Ah, Kakuzu. This is unexpected." Her father rose and greeted the man. Koko's eyes narrowed. A friend of her fathers no doubt. A Jounin at the least.

"Remove your cowl if you do not mind me asking." She voiced from her spot on next to her father's empty one. "For I wish to see a possible husband's face fully." Her voice was a bit harsh, from the anger of her father now bringing in his friends in desperation no doubt. She knew of Kakuzu. His greed was legendary as was his temper.

"Only if you allow me to see yours. I also wish to see my future wife's face fully." Kakuzu replied. Koko felt heat rise to her cheeks. How dare he speak to her that way! She glared at his from behind her fan.

"I shall leave you two to acquaint yourselves." Her father exited and slid the door shut behind him. The two stared at each other.

"So will you let me see your face, Koko-sama?" Kakuzu questioned.

"I believe I asked first, Kazuku-san." She replied coldly. Kakuzu ignored her.

"I hear that you have been heard to fraternizing with the Uchiha Clan." Koko changed subjects. "Such controversy would not be favorable upon my family if we were to wed."

"You would not understand, not being a shinobi. It is more complicated than you think." Kakuzu spoke, his voice a bit harder than he meant it to be.

"I am more intelligent than you think I am. Do not talk down to me as if I am an unintelligent child." Koko snapped. She was not liking this man and wished to be rid of him quickly. "You forget, I am the daughter of a top shinobi. I know more about politics than you would imagine. I am able to follow debates between leaders without confusion. Therefore, I demand that you do not assume you know of my level of intelligence Kakuzu-san."

Kakuzu chuckled. He liked her spirit. He liked her family's wealth more. "I'll tell you what Koko-sama, I admire your spirit. I shall show you my face, if only you allow me to be so privileged to see yours." Koko scowled. She would not allow this man to see her face. But her curiosity was getting the best of her and she consented.

Kakuzu removed his cowl and mask to reveal dark hair and fair skin with a few stitches running along his neck. He was fairly decent looking. "Your turn, Koko-sama." Kakuzu put his cowl and mask back on. Koko's face hardened as she snapped her fan closed and gave him an open glare. She allowed him a few moments to study her features before snapping it back open. "Now that was not so hard, was it?"

The door opened again as Hashimaru entered the room. "I trust everything has gone well. Thank you, Kakuzu. You may leave." Kakuzu rose and bowed before turning and leaving. As he left, he smirked under his cowl. He had made up his mind that both her and her money would belong to him shortly. Especially her money.

* * *

"Kakuzu-Sama?" Fi asked in amazement.

"I'm not done yet." Koko snapped. "There is much more to the story than that!"

"Will you tell me?" Fi asked.

"Once you have weeded the entire garden. Be sure that none of the plants are disturbed and that you pull up all roots of the weeds. Be certain that no blade of grass is left in the plot save for what's supposed to be growing. Also pick whatever is ripe. You have by the end of tonight. But sleep first. Tobi said he found you sleeping in the hall." Koko demanded.

Fi's face fell. The Akatsuki's garden was almost an acre. It took a lot to sustain 8 men, a woman and all their servants and underlings.

This time, no one could help her. They were assigned other tasks. Koko had suspected she was getting help and after all, that was against the rules of their agreement.

Fi ignored the order to sleep. She instead spent the entire day out in the garden. She paused only to eat and light a lamp when dusk fell to see the ripe crop to pick. Finally, she dragged the baskets back in, determined to hear the rest of the story. Koko surveyed her and the crop. 'How does this girl keep doing it?' Koko wondered.

"Koko baa-chan, I've completed the task." Fi bowed.

"Very well." Koko sighed.

* * *

Over the next weeks, her father insisted on bringing two suitors back. A Chuunin named Hiro and Kakuzu. Koko was not happy with this at all. Although Hiro was a very nice and sincere man, he smelled of the woods a bit too strongly, having come back from missions before immediately meeting with her. Kakuzu was a different story. Koko did not like him one bit. She found him to be egotistical and a bit too greedy for her liking. He had taken to removing his cowl and mask for most of their meetings and insisting on her putting away her fan. He had also begun gaining more stitches on various places of his body. Koko figured he was a slow healer. The only redeeming factor in her eyes was his ability to debate issues with her and hold his ground while doing it, unlike so many others who easily crumbled under her arguments.

But it was one night that she truly felt anything other than dislike for him thus far. They had been debating over the new issue of whether or not the Village should raise taxes to provide shinobi with better equipment. The council was torn on the decision.

"The equipment is fine. People like to complain so they can have new expensive weapons like Konoha. We cannot afford it. We need the money for back up in case anything should happen. It is foolish to waste it on an improved kunai when it can be done yourself for free." Kakuzu argued. They sat facing each other, with Koko sitting up properly and Kakuzu lounging.

"But the other villages are gaining advantages over the rest. Suna and Konoha being the biggest. Their weapons are things many of our shinobi have never seen and do not know how to fight them, thus resulting in the high number of casualties we have been experiencing lately." Koko argued back.

"Perhaps it is just because other shinobi are incompetent and should not have even been inducted as such." Kakuzu was getting a little pissed. This woman was trying his patience today. He had already killed the wrong person for a bounty and was not feeling well to boot.

"For someone who keeps getting injured enough for stitches, you sure have a big ego." Koko sniffed. That was it. Kakuzu snapped. He jumped up as thick black threads shot out from his sleeve and twisted around her throat, dragging her up. He was resisting the very strong urge to kill her. "Put me down." She said calmly, although her heart rate stated she was anything but calm.

"Why should I?" Kakuzu dragged her so that their faces were inches apart. "I could kill you right here and now."

"Because I know you won't." Koko replied.

"And why is that?" Kakuzu sneered.

"Because, if you kill me, you end your chances of gaining my family's money." She sneered back. "And we both know that is the only reason you are here. So what exactly are you telling my father you will give him in exchange for me? Love? Protection? Stability?"

Kakuzu growled. She had a point. He released her and she massaged her throat, gasping for air and extremely shaken. Kakuzu stormed out of the room. It was then Koko had no doubt in her mind that her choice was definitely Hiro. Even if he smelled bad.

Kakuzu left the house despite the protests of the servants. He threw his cowl back on as he left the property. That bitch! How dare she question his abilities. But it wasn't as if he could tell her why he had all these stitches. He reminded himself why he was even doing this. She had beauty, brains and Money. Lots of Money. And also that dowry. He had never heard of such a fragile jewel. He was curious to find out what it was and how much he could sell it for. As he walked through the dark streets of town, he came across a man he had always hated in the academy and promptly killed him. He felt a bit better after that. Then he felt even better when he remembered that Suna had placed a bounty on the man. He grinned as he set off for Suna.

---

Hashimaru had hurried in when he heard Kakuzu had left in anger. "What did you do? You may have just ruined your chances at finding a good husband! Kakuzu can provide you with so much!" Her father raged.

"I have decided Father." Koko replied calmly. "My mind is set on which of the two I wish to marry."

Hashimaru stopped, taken aback at her sudden decision. "You have my daughter? Very well then. Tell me."

"I choose Hiro, father." Koko answered, her voice made it clear she had made up her mind firmly.

"Hiro? Why? He is but a Chuunin. Kakuzu is a Jounin and is very well respected." Her father tried to reason.

"Hiro may be a Chuunin, but he is sincere and has a bright future ahead of him. Whereas Kakuzu is concerned for only his money, is egotistical and has relations with people that may or may not cause problems for you in the long run." Koko fanned herself lightly with the hand fan. Hashimaru nodded, not at all agreeing but rather respecting her decision.

"Very well. We will send for Hiro in the morning and start preparations immediately. Dismissed."

* * *

"What? Then how did you end up here if you decided to marry Hiro-san?" Fi asked.

"I'm not done yet!" Koko said briskly.

"What is my next task?" Fi asked glumly.

"You must clean Kisame's bathroom, Deidara's bedroom and Sasori's closet." Koko said. Fi recoiled. Was she serious? Who knew what horrors lurked in each those places? "I'm giving you until the end of tomorrow. Now sleep!" Koko left for her quarters. No one knew exactly where the woman slept. After she left, the other maids snuck in and eagerly listened as Fi relayed the story.

* * *

Yupp, you got a few parts of the story. Hope you enjoy this. Reviews let me know whether or not to bother continuing with this spin-off... The next chapter or PMO should be up soon, so worry not!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do own any characters you do not recognize though...

* * *

The next morning, Fi stood in front of Kisame's door with rubber gloves, a mask and various cleaning supplies. Kisame gave her a weird look. "What?"

"Koko Baa-chan said you wanted someone to clean your bathroom, Kisame-sama." Fi gave a respectful bow.

"Oh, yeah. Good luck." Kisame let her in. Immediately she was overcome by the smell of fish. She nearly passed out when she saw and smelled the bathroom.

Six hours and many mentally scarring experiences later, Fi finally finished Sasori's closet.

"You're really determined to hear this story aren't you?" Sasori commented blandly. "Yes, I know about your deal with Koko. " Sasori explained when Fi looked up with a look not unlike one that a five year old has when caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell. If you do something for me that is." Sasori grinned an evil sadistic grin. Fi's face fell.

This was the worst! She decided. She was standing outside Itachi's door with note in hand. He opened the door after she gently knocked.

"Hn."

"S-Sasori-sama wanted m-me to give you this. H-he said it's from Deidara-Sama." With that she ran, like Sasori had told her to do. She felt the angry waves radiating off of Itachi as he strode angrily to Deidara's quarters.

"I take it you're done since you're idling about." Koko appeared behind her.

"Hai."

* * *

The next day, all people could talk about was how the ruler's top advisor's daughter had chosen a lowly Chuunin to a prestigious Jounin. The entire village bustled with activity and gossip. No one had seen Kakuzu all day. People figured he was too shamed to go out in public.

Hiro himself could not believe his luck. He was to marry, in his opinion, the most wonderful woman a man could ask for. His joy was muted only by the prospect of guard duty the next week. People congratulated him wherever he went, former suitors glared at him for winning the prize they all sought after. He had given Koko a wristband from his brother's weaponry shop. It was made from his first genin hitai-ate and in return a few days later, she had given him a new pair of pants as a joke since he had ripped his on a nail the first time they met. Everything was going perfectly. Except that no one had seen Kakuzu. Hiro knew about his temper. He had seen it in action himself. He decided to put it in the back of his mind and continued to the ramen stand where his friends had insisted on him meeting them.

"Koko-sama, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea." Koko's maid spoke softly as she helped Koko into a red and gold kimono. "Kakuzu-san 's temper may not stand for this. He does not take too kindly to being rejected."

"It is for the best. Hiro is honest and kind. I am already very fond of him. Kakuzu-san however, I'd rather not voice my opinion on him." Koko lifted her arms for the maid to start on the obi.

"I understand. I am just worried, that is all. Kakuzu-san has been known to kill over less." Koko repressed a shudder, she could still feel the threads wrapping around her throat, strangling her…

"Enough talk of this. Let us talk of something else." Koko said quickly.

"The Ichiraku clan has begun setting up a ramen business. They just opened a stand last week." The maid complied with Koko's order. "We should go there sometime."

"Yes, I agree." Koko looked out the small window. A messenger hawk flew across the sky towards Hashimaru's office. She sighed. Another group of shinobi would most likely be deployed that night. These wars were doing more harm to the villages than good. What use was fighting them if you did not have enough warriors to fight?

"Nearly finished." Her maid spoke after a few minutes of silence.

"Who is visiting and why must I be there?" She sighed.

"Hashirama Senju. Founder of Konoha. We are hosting a Shougi tournament for the leaders of the Hidden Villages. He was the first to arrive." The maid answered.

"Hashirama, Hashimaru. How will we ever tell who is addressing who?" Koko joked.

"Finished, Koko-sama."

"Why must they disguise the game as a friendly bout? We all know it so that they can got a grasp of how each other's minds work." Koko complained.

"I do not know Koko-sama. But your father is waiting."

* * *

Koko cleared her throat, making it clear she was done. Fi pulled a face.

"Next task, weed Zetsu's room." Koko held out a bottle of onion and garlic juice. "You might want to rub that on. Zetsu-sama doesn't like it too much."

Fi gulped and set off for the plant-man's room. Kakuzu walked down the hallway nearby and heard the last bit of the story. Oh how he remembered that…

--------------

It had been two weeks after Kakuzu had killed the man for bounty. Kakuzu looked around the marketplace he was standing in. Suna did have much to offer. He strolled around, pockets jingling with some of the coins that he had kept on him for emergencies. The rest he had sealed in a scroll for safekeeping. He had received a hefty reward for the man's body. He was hunting for supplies for the journey home, stealing whenever possible. He had to pay for a few items, which he wasn't very happy about, but decided it was worth the money. He managed to pickpocket the amount he spent in compensation.

While walking, he let his mind wander. Kakuzu decided he had cooled off enough to return to ask for forgiveness, even if it wounded his pride. He knew he still had plenty of time, besides, his competition was really no competition at all. Kakuzu smirked. He had decided to not kill Koko as he originally planned to after the wedding. He decided to let her live. She was too amusing to kill. That and she had a remarkable amount of intelligence that kept him entertained with debates and shougi. It also helped that she was fairly attractive. His smirk grew more pronounced. Yes, Koko and her money would soon be all his. He turned and walked towards the gates.

The wedding was less than a week away. Hiro's friends had decided to throw a party. He had managed to pass off guard duty onto someone else. They sat laughing, sharing stories and drinking plenty of Sake. "I'm going home." One of his friends declared as he staggered out. They bid him farewell, all unaware that that would be the last they saw of the drunken man.

The man hiccupped as he stumbled towards his home. A figure strode down the road. He squinted and vaguely recognized the figure from his old platoon. "Kakuzu! Where've you been, friend? Surely not sulking!" He weaved his way over and put his arm around his fellow shinobi for support.

"You're drunk Botan." Kakuzu lowered him to the ground. Botan had always had a tendency to go overboard with the alcohol. They figured it was because his father had named him after a stupid flower.

"You smell weird." The shinobi giggled.

"I had a family emergency out of town.. Why do you say I was sulking?"

"You haven't heard? Oh yes, you were not here were you?" Botan boomed, jolly from the Sake. "Hashimaru's daughter is to be married this week to Hiro! You know, from that other platoon, the one Chang led. And there's a month long shougi tournament for the hidden village leaders. They're all coming to the wedding." Kakuzu froze, not believing Botan's words. Then, the fury began to build. She chose that lowly Chuunin over him? Hiro had nothing to offer! No money, no stability, little skill! "Wait, you don't have any family outside of Takigakure." Botan realized loudly. Kakuzu didn't even blink as he whipped out a Suna modified kunai and plunged it into Botan's throat.

"Sorry old friend, but you had it coming." Kakuzu walked away, bent on correcting this.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go guys." Hiro was trying to leave, but his friends weren't letting him.

"One more drink!" Someone yelled.

"No, I couldn't. I will see you all tomorrow. Goodnight." He was met with boos and hisses.

Hiro walked home. He hadn't drank much, but just enough for his vision to be hazy and for him to stumble occasionally. It wasn't until he got home did he feel truly relaxed. He threw off his coat and collapsed on his futon. Less than a few days, and Koko would be beside him...He drifted off to sleep with the thought.

Unfortunately, Hiro's shinobi training was affected by the Sake. He did wake up however to see a figure leaning over him. "Kakuzu!" Hiro gasped. "W-what is it?"

"We're to go on a mission with a few others to Suna. A shinobi from their village murdered Botan and we need to track him down quickly." Kakuzu spoke in low tones.

"What? You're kidding!" Hiro quickly scrambled to his feet and pulled on his clothes and weapons the best he could, still drunken. "Those sandy bastards! Let's go!"

Kakuzu and Hiro raced towards the gates. "We have to wait for the others." Kakuzu explained as they stopped. "They told me to wait beyond the gates."

"Why out there?" Hiro asked, suspicious. This was Kakuzu. Hiro had just won the woman they had been competing for. Kakuzu didn't have a good temper. Hiro was tempted to run back to the safety of Koko's home. But that would not have been an honorable thing to do. "What are you up to Kakuzu? If you're looking for a fight, just say it."

"Fine. I am. But Botan really is dead with a Suna kunai." Kakuzu slid into fighting stance.

"If I win, you leave us alone. If you win…"

"What?" Kakuzu pressed.

"You swear an oath on your honor now!" Hiro suddenly yelled. "That if you kill me, if you take my place, You will not harm her in any way shape or form!" Hiro finished dramatically and nearly over balanced as he pointed energetically at him.

Kakuzu stared at him. He was kidding right? Hiro was being too dramatic. Kakuzu figured there was still alcohol in his system.

"Or have anyone harm her! Swear you will do everything to protect her from harm! Swear you murdering bastard!" Hiro was now screaming. Kakuzu had to shut him quickly or the guards would come running…

"I swear." Kakuzu threw shuriken that Hiro promptly blocked.

Ten minutes later, Hiro laid on the ground, breathing heavily. The sake had run its course and he was once more painfully sober. Hiro wondered why he was even so stupid as to challenge Kakuzu. He was going to die and they both knew it. Kakuzu paused in his attack.

"Giving up so soon?"

"No." Hiro jumped up and rushed towards Kakuzu, creating water clones as he went. Kakuzu slashed them each and gave Hiro a huge gash across his face in the process.

"Gah!" Hiro retaliated by digging his kunai into Kakuzu's arm. Kakuzu swore and threw Hiro against a rock. Hiro slid down as he lost consciousness.

"Just so you know," Kakuzu walked towards the unconscious Chuunin. "I never was going to hurt her." He pulled out a scroll. Madara had better be right about this jutsu. He thought to himself.

An hour later, Guards swarmed the area.

"I found something!" One yelled. "I'm warning you it's not pretty!"

The others rushed over the see the mutilated body of Hiro with a Suna headband laying nearby.

* * *

"Are you done?" Koko snapped at the young maid as she rushed out of the plant man's room covered in dirt with a bucket of weeds. Zetsu had been practically breathing down her neck the entire time to make sure she didn't accidentally pull any of his prized plants.

"Hai." Fi panted.

* * *

The rest of the house was awakened to Koko's screams echoing throughout the halls the next morning. Many rushed to find her prostrate on the floor sobbing with an ANBU standing over her with Hiro's hitai-ate and Hashimaru speaking to the ANBU.

"Suna, sir. We found Botan dead with a Suna knife and Hiro dead with a hitai-ate of a Suna shinobi about 20 yards away." He was saying. "There must have been a massive fight. The body shows that he fought ferociously to the end."

"It was Kakuzu I know it!" Koko screamed.

"He was at home. We have witnesses."

'They're lying!"

"Enough!" Hashimaru yelled. "You! Dismissed!" He yelled at the ANBU. "You! Room!" They both left their respective ways. Hashimaru sighed as he massaged his temples. What a disaster.

The rest of the day, Koko's sobs filled the hallways. The servants weren't stupid enough to go talk to her. Instead, her Father let her cry. The next day, however, Hashimaru decided she had had enough grieving time. He sent for Kakuzu.

"Hai, Hashimaru-sama?" Kakuzu bowed.

Hashimaru motioned his head towards the door to the main room where Koko sat, waiting for whoever was to come in. The minute Kakuzu walked in however, Koko let out an enraged shriek and began beating him furiously. He let her. He knew there wasn't any damage she could do. Although when she went to punch him in the groin, he grabbed her wrists. "Enough. I did not kill him." Which was half the truth. The jutsu killed him, really.

"Prove it." She hissed angrily.

"There are witnesses who saw me at home."

"You're a shinobi. It's called a water clone." Kakuzu twitched slightly. He really did need to find out exactly how much she knew about shinobi sometime.

Two months later, the pair sat in the room playing Shougi. Koko had accepted that Hiro was dead and no amount of grief she took out on Kakuzu would bring him back to life and that it was probable that a Suna shinobi killed him. Their relationship had evolved into one that they merely tolerated each other. Hashimaru took this as a good sign. Koko had noticed that stitches that were on Kakuzu when they first met were still there. Plus, now they were starting to spread to his wrists. She didn't know what was going on, but she did not like it.

Kakuzu stared at her, trying to figure out her next move. She'd been getting very good at this game. It didn't require them to talk so they pretty much stuck to it in place of tense conversation. Although today, he felt like talking.

"So, when are you planning on accepting that we are getting married?"

"Never." She made her next move.

Kakuzu was getting frustrated. He wanted that money! And more importantly, that damned dowry. It was driving him insane. He had been doing research left and right trying to find out the name of the rare gem. Since his search turned up empty, that made him even more eager, knowing the value would skyrocket even more if it was extremely rare. In between research and weekly visits, he still had to find time to sneak out and meet up with Uchiha, who was now demanding more and more of his time. Madara was now going on about some new organization that he founded. Akatsuki or something like that. He had been bugging Kakuzu to join in return for the forbidden techniques.

"The festival is coming up." He stated as he made his move on the board.

"Your point?" She responded.

"Just thought you might be interested in going."

"Yes. Just not with you." She wrinkled her nose. Kakuzu resisted the urge to kill.

"We're engaged. People expect us to be there together."

"I do not give a flying rat's ass." She made a move.

"Such language."

"Thank you."

"You're still going with me to the festival."

Koko looked up, eyes flashing dangerously. Kakuzu quickly moved his piece on the table.

"How about this, I'll make you a deal." Koko had heard that Kakuzu could not resist a deal.

"I'm listening."

Koko carefully mulled over the plan in her head. Yes, it would be impossible for Kakuzu to succeed.

"You must first find me at the festival. After that, you must put up with me and any of my demands. You must last the entire night without losing your temper, creating clones, using ninja techniques or leaving my side unless instructed."

Kakuzu's eye twitched. What was this little mink up to?

"If I manage that?"

"Then I will accept that we are indeed engaged. If you fail, you leave me and my family alone , the wedding is off, and you stay out of my life."

Kakuzu stared at her while thinking. The sooner she accepted the fact they were engaged, the sooner he could get his hands on the dowry and leave. On the other hand, if he couldn't keep his emotions in check, he'd lose everything. His greed got the best of him.

"I accept your challenge."

"Good." She slammed the piece down on the board and won the game.

* * *

"What happened after that?" Fi asked.

Koko merely held out a vacuum cleaner that she had seemingly aquired out of thin air.

"Who's room?" Fi asked, dreading the response.

"Pein-Sama." Koko replied, nonchalantly. "Good luck."

Fi squeaked, but bowed and scurried off.

* * *

ok, there's that. Next chapter is the festival. Reviews make the world go round! Whee! The next chapter of PMO should be up shortly. We'll find out how Hinata and Naruto's date went! Yay!


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